I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON LOVE.

I am a student of love, and I will learn as much, on any given day, as the next person. Therefore, what I am about to chat about has nothing to do with experience. It has everything to do with my meditative discoveries.

I am a Reiki Master, teacher, and writer. I have taught myself through my meditative journey how to communicate, through writing, about healing with energy.

My journey is mine, it is not yours, but because most of us are aware that we are part of a Collective, perhaps it is safe to say that these journeys are universal. What I receive in meditation is not just for me. It is for us all.

Today’s meditation (actually it was a walking meditation in a gorgeous field) was to remind me about the subtle implications of how we give and receive love.

NOT TO OVERSIMPLIFY THIS, BUT WE’RE TANGLED, BROKEN, AND STRUGGLING.

Love is an idea. An ideal. In our minds, love is never enough. We’re never enough. We expect, and we design love to be what we think love should be based on a guiding principle of give and take.

Love is less about the I’ll rub your back if you rub mine kind of mentality and more about just being.

But we expect our friends, partners, parents, children, and lovers to bend to our design of love. And they, in turn, expect us to bend to their design. Who designs these designs, by the way? I’ve always wanted to know that. Well, in my meditation today I received the answer. We do. We design love.

Love can not be designed, because no two designs are ever the same. Rather, Love is. Without definition. Without expectation. Without design.

Now, this is a head trip until we can begin to wrap our minds around the notion that Love is. The mind creates, right? But the mind tears things apart. We are tearing apart Divine Love because we’re no longer judging ourselves against a god who loves.

In the United States, this god separates us into us against them. (I’ll speak to the issue from the perspective of a US citizen, although this problem appears across the globe). This god is not universally divine, because...well…we create the version of the god we want.

And when we do this we divvy up our ideas about love across the landscape. One universal god could solve the problem, but well, that’s another kettle of fish. Maybe that’s for another story.

We have many versions of god. Many versions of love. And not one answer.

I’D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TIME-OUT.

The adults in the room are fighting over which version of love is best. But isn’t Divine Love supposed to be the answer? And isn't Divine Love supposed to be universal? And isn’t it supposed to be from God?

Do you see the problem?

Divine Love has never been universal, thereby creating a multi-nuanced god of individuality. And these individuals create separation. The god is broken. The heart is broken. The individual weeps, “Where is my love?”

But in today’s meditation I heard the following words while walking:

Divine Love is simple. It is the love of the individual without expectation. It is love without fences. Without borders. Without need.

I am learning to love without needing this love to be returned to me in the way I think it should be returned. I am learning not to corral love or define it. I’m simply appreciating the nuance of love. It is about unburdening myself from need and opening myself up to exploration. I don’t reach far for my god. He/she/them is within. Me. I am honoring God because I love myself and when I love myself I simply love. Period.

It is difficult not to think of this idea of loving ourselves as selfish and narcissistic. We’re designed to give give give so that we feel the altruistic love of duty. But honestly, it's ok to give to ourselves. Feed the heart. Put the oxygen mask on first. Then we can give our best self to others without depending on love to be outside of ourselves. Tear up the script. Make discoveries. Love is. We are Divine.